Except Fear Itself

And right now she's perfect. And to her, you're perfect, too. And maybe you don't want to ruin that. Well, I think that's a great philosophy, Will. That way you can go through your entire life without ever having to really know anybody.

I will get this out of my system now. Tonight. As I write this, I'm putting an end to everything that's never happened to me. Watch the fireworks.

Fear is the only thing that will ever stop you. Fear failure, and you will never succeed. You can't win what you don't put in the middle (damn you Matt Damon for combining both of the most beautiful roles I've ever seen on film). I saw myself making that mistake this week playing poker. I found myself folding because I was afraid to lose anymore. Which meant I would indeed lose more. So I sat out for about 3 minutes Saturay night after busting for $10. It's 11:30, and curfew's at midnight. I had half an hour to make back $13 in total losses (not to mention having to put more money in to play). Fuck it, let's gamble.

I bought in for $15. At this point I'm down $28 (I always go by the money I have in my wallet, it's not really mine yet if it's still on the table). 30 minutes later, I'm up $15. Profit. For the entire weekend. A $40 upswing in a combined hour and a half of poker. I let myself relax. I let myself play. Come out firing, and the cards will come in time. First played an A-4o on the button, and made about $5 hitting an ace on the flop. Next, busted Kyle after reraising him preflop with 10-10, checking the flop, putting him all-in on the turn when another 10 hit, and winning over $10 in that hand. Finally, 3-way action flop with one raise, my J-10o makes the nut straight with a flop of 9-8-7, rainbow. Damn this feels like Rounders. Got Rain to pay off a $6 reraise on the river Q (hoped he would go all-in, figuring me for a bluff, he'd already caught me bluffing a few times). I ended that 30 minute rush with roughly $45 in chips on the table. Curfew, and I went to sleep.

I had a great philosophy before. I could've gone through life without ever letting anyone hurt me. If you fear pain, if you fear loss, if you fear heartache, then you will never love. I could've gone through life without ever having accomplished a thing. If you fear trying, if you fear failing, if you fear giving it your all and coming up short, then you will never give it your all, and you will always come up short.

Don't be afraid to fall flat on your face. Do it for the heck of it. Then, grab your friend's hand, pull yourself up, and dust off your clothes. You'll be laughing about it in a few years. And you'll wonder why you didn't try it sooner.

Nothing to fear but fear itself.