"Is that what you've been doing with yourself Cody?"
"Among other things, yes."
"So you've been playing video games instead of spending time with me, is that it?"
"Is there a way to answer that question that won't get me in trouble?"
"No."
"Yes."
"Huh?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"What did you say yes to?"
"Yes, je veux coucher avec toi ce soir."
"Nice try, hot stuff."
"Can you blame me?"
Ok, so maybe I learned some stuff in kindergarten as well. Eminently useful stuff even, such as English. But everything else has been from video games. I'm not kidding either: there's a book out there that'll explain it all in terms you can understand, my IQ-challenged friends; it's called, Everything Bad Is Good for You: How Today's Popular Culture Is Actually Making Us Smarter.
"Did you just call me stupid?"
"No Joey, I respect your intellect a great deal."
"Good, 'cuz I was gonna have to smack a bitch if you was making fun of me."
"Indeed."
"Booyakasha, my friend, booyakasha."
How to build a lightsaber? Knights of the Old Republic. How to morph into a dragon and bite the head off of an opponent? Mortal Kombat. How to drive? Crazy Taxi. How to roll around in a blue blur at supersonic speeds? Sonic the Hedgehog. How to stomp on annoying little frogs that can kill you if you touch them? Super Mario Brothers. Hell, I even learned how to pick up hookers... from Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. Well, maybe following hookers in a stolen car and honking at them repeatedly isn't exactly the way you're supposed to do it, but I think I've got the general idea.
Ok, so maybe some games are more intellectually-stimulating than others. Dead or Alive: Xtreme Beach Volleyball, for example, can be quite stimulating, just not for your intellect.
Transmission over.
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Who You Are At The Table Is Who You Are In Life
I don't know if it's because of the summer boredom thing, or the watching too much TV (and the associated Sex in the City commercials), or if it's the Episode III-ness (and Obi-Wan's philosophical digressions) getting to my head, but something is making me treat poker like a microcosm of life. Poker is a philosophy; poker is a way of life.
philosophy - n. any personal belief about how to live or how to deal with a situation
Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University
I can tell a lot about a person based solely on what he/she does at the poker table. Since I don't play much poker with those elusive beings who possess more than one X chromosome, I'll forego gender-equality in what follows, although allow me to say this: women are much more mysterious than men, and it's much harder to read a girl. Maybe it's because as men, we are more easily distracted by her assets than she is by ours (note, girls cannot check out a guy's cute ass while he's sitting down at the table).
Anyways, I've headed a dangerous distance in a tangential direction, so let me just vector subtraction my way back on course. Can you tell I've been reading some of Feynman's collected lectures (especially the one on vectors)? Six Not So Easy Pieces is an amazing book. Highly recommended for the physics-inclined and brave souls out there.
Damnit, I lost myself again, seems I should get back to the real content here.
"Haha, that was funny Cody, what real content?"
"Quiet you, I'm serious this time."
"What about all the other times?"
"Like when?"
"Like, when you told me you loved me?"
"Honestly, I was just trying to get in your pants."
"You know, maybe you're not supposed to tell me that..."
"It's up to you to believe it or not."
The most common guy you'll encounter at any poker table is what we in the business (what business? the business of assigning names to players at poker tables) like to call the idiot. And guess what? That is true in life as well. The most common inhabitant of this planet is not the household cockroach, but the household idiot (yes, each village has several now). He's the guy who always thinks he knows what he's doing but never really has a clue about what, where, when, why, and how he's doing it.
Raise with bottom pair, not because he acknowledges to himself that he's bluffing at it, but just because of some reason unbeknownst to anyone save God himself. Hell, anyone's allowed to do anything they want, just as long as they know why they're doing it. I don't hate Gus Hansen for being aggressive and raising with bottom pair (I can applaud that), but I will hate the 14-year-old poker wannabe who thinks he's watched enough on TV to make himself an expert and raise it just because he saw someone else do it. And you know this is true for life as well. During your lifetime, you'll encounter thousands upon thousands of people who don't know what they're doing, and are only doing it because their friends do it, or they think it's cool to do it.
Then there's the not-so-good-yet-but-willing-to-learners. These are the guys who are interested in the game, are willing to devote time and energy to learning the subtleties, and to just plain thinking about the game. These guys are the up-and-comers, the ones who can go far. For them, poker is not their entire life, but what they bring to the poker table they also bring to every other aspect of their lives: the ability to observe, to think, and to learn. If they put in the time, they will get the results. They make mistakes, but they learn from them. They realize that raising with bottom pair is not a play that will earn you money in the long run. After a few thousand hands they'll also learn that in certain situations, they are allowed to raise with bottom pair, just as long as they are cautious and observant of what's been going on. Of course, you don't want to show that on the exterior. No, you've gotta have the rock-solid, fullproof expression of quiet, unassuming, but complete confidence, and make them fear your hand until the moment you fold it. And you'll encounter a few of these folks in life as well; hard-working, honest, open, and intelligent human beings, who understand a thing or two about life and are willing to learn more.
The third class of folks is hard to describe. At various moments, they can display incomprehensible idiocy, or magnificent genius. They can disappoint just as much as they can enthrall. Crushing lows and soaring heights are the only vistas they know. There is no middle ground. The most malicious of villains and the most worthy of heros, they know both personas well. And to the layperson, it may seem strange that those who are capable of such highs can also stoop to such lows. But the explanation is simple really, once you understand these people. For they truly know all the angles. They have seen every possible hand, they know every possible edge, and they know every single correct decision. They know how to play the game perfectly.
And that, is their only weakness. For once you know perfection, you will shy away from it. There is only one way to be perfect, and no one can endure so strict a way of life. Simply put, they get bored with playing the game perfectly. These guys raise with nothing (not even bottom pair), not because they acknowledge they're bluffing, nor because they are trying to put a move on someone else. No, they do it for the sake of the moment. They become adrenaline junkies, burned out and tired of folding their worst hands only to watch the idiot sitting next to them win a monster pot when he hits the same one-outter that you folded on the last hand. How can you beat Luck? Fate? The will of God? The sucker on your right is blessed, and there is nothing you can do to beat Destiny. And so even though you know your hand's only got 3% equity, even though you know a raise is hugely negative EV, even though the man behind you is giving off every tell of strength in Caro's book, you reraise him anyways.
Because "what the hell" must be the most dangerous three-word combination in the English language. Nothing can beat the sheer power of "what the hell." Your most carefully laid plans, your most thought-out strategies, all fall to pieces in the face of "what the hell." For those words have lifted many a man to greatness, and cut out the knees of countless more. But even for those who lose, those who took their shot despite every logical instinct in their body, despite the almost complete inevitability of their loss, they have lost willing. And in real life, when they do make it, they become the geniuses, the masters, the greatest luminaries of our species. They become the stuff of history books. But even for those who lose, that moment, that instant of indecision, that fleeting hope of glory and greatness, maybe that was enough for them.
"Was it enough for you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Come on, even I can tell you put yourself in the last category."
"Did you read my mind?"
"I live in your mind Cody, you created me."
"God I wish you were real."
philosophy - n. any personal belief about how to live or how to deal with a situation
Source: WordNet ® 2.0, © 2003 Princeton University
I can tell a lot about a person based solely on what he/she does at the poker table. Since I don't play much poker with those elusive beings who possess more than one X chromosome, I'll forego gender-equality in what follows, although allow me to say this: women are much more mysterious than men, and it's much harder to read a girl. Maybe it's because as men, we are more easily distracted by her assets than she is by ours (note, girls cannot check out a guy's cute ass while he's sitting down at the table).
Anyways, I've headed a dangerous distance in a tangential direction, so let me just vector subtraction my way back on course. Can you tell I've been reading some of Feynman's collected lectures (especially the one on vectors)? Six Not So Easy Pieces is an amazing book. Highly recommended for the physics-inclined and brave souls out there.
Damnit, I lost myself again, seems I should get back to the real content here.
"Haha, that was funny Cody, what real content?"
"Quiet you, I'm serious this time."
"What about all the other times?"
"Like when?"
"Like, when you told me you loved me?"
"Honestly, I was just trying to get in your pants."
"You know, maybe you're not supposed to tell me that..."
"It's up to you to believe it or not."
The most common guy you'll encounter at any poker table is what we in the business (what business? the business of assigning names to players at poker tables) like to call the idiot. And guess what? That is true in life as well. The most common inhabitant of this planet is not the household cockroach, but the household idiot (yes, each village has several now). He's the guy who always thinks he knows what he's doing but never really has a clue about what, where, when, why, and how he's doing it.
Raise with bottom pair, not because he acknowledges to himself that he's bluffing at it, but just because of some reason unbeknownst to anyone save God himself. Hell, anyone's allowed to do anything they want, just as long as they know why they're doing it. I don't hate Gus Hansen for being aggressive and raising with bottom pair (I can applaud that), but I will hate the 14-year-old poker wannabe who thinks he's watched enough on TV to make himself an expert and raise it just because he saw someone else do it. And you know this is true for life as well. During your lifetime, you'll encounter thousands upon thousands of people who don't know what they're doing, and are only doing it because their friends do it, or they think it's cool to do it.
Then there's the not-so-good-yet-but-willing-to-learners. These are the guys who are interested in the game, are willing to devote time and energy to learning the subtleties, and to just plain thinking about the game. These guys are the up-and-comers, the ones who can go far. For them, poker is not their entire life, but what they bring to the poker table they also bring to every other aspect of their lives: the ability to observe, to think, and to learn. If they put in the time, they will get the results. They make mistakes, but they learn from them. They realize that raising with bottom pair is not a play that will earn you money in the long run. After a few thousand hands they'll also learn that in certain situations, they are allowed to raise with bottom pair, just as long as they are cautious and observant of what's been going on. Of course, you don't want to show that on the exterior. No, you've gotta have the rock-solid, fullproof expression of quiet, unassuming, but complete confidence, and make them fear your hand until the moment you fold it. And you'll encounter a few of these folks in life as well; hard-working, honest, open, and intelligent human beings, who understand a thing or two about life and are willing to learn more.
The third class of folks is hard to describe. At various moments, they can display incomprehensible idiocy, or magnificent genius. They can disappoint just as much as they can enthrall. Crushing lows and soaring heights are the only vistas they know. There is no middle ground. The most malicious of villains and the most worthy of heros, they know both personas well. And to the layperson, it may seem strange that those who are capable of such highs can also stoop to such lows. But the explanation is simple really, once you understand these people. For they truly know all the angles. They have seen every possible hand, they know every possible edge, and they know every single correct decision. They know how to play the game perfectly.
And that, is their only weakness. For once you know perfection, you will shy away from it. There is only one way to be perfect, and no one can endure so strict a way of life. Simply put, they get bored with playing the game perfectly. These guys raise with nothing (not even bottom pair), not because they acknowledge they're bluffing, nor because they are trying to put a move on someone else. No, they do it for the sake of the moment. They become adrenaline junkies, burned out and tired of folding their worst hands only to watch the idiot sitting next to them win a monster pot when he hits the same one-outter that you folded on the last hand. How can you beat Luck? Fate? The will of God? The sucker on your right is blessed, and there is nothing you can do to beat Destiny. And so even though you know your hand's only got 3% equity, even though you know a raise is hugely negative EV, even though the man behind you is giving off every tell of strength in Caro's book, you reraise him anyways.
Because "what the hell" must be the most dangerous three-word combination in the English language. Nothing can beat the sheer power of "what the hell." Your most carefully laid plans, your most thought-out strategies, all fall to pieces in the face of "what the hell." For those words have lifted many a man to greatness, and cut out the knees of countless more. But even for those who lose, those who took their shot despite every logical instinct in their body, despite the almost complete inevitability of their loss, they have lost willing. And in real life, when they do make it, they become the geniuses, the masters, the greatest luminaries of our species. They become the stuff of history books. But even for those who lose, that moment, that instant of indecision, that fleeting hope of glory and greatness, maybe that was enough for them.
"Was it enough for you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Come on, even I can tell you put yourself in the last category."
"Did you read my mind?"
"I live in your mind Cody, you created me."
"God I wish you were real."
Monday, May 23, 2005
A Moment
Life is nothing more than the sum of its individual moments. The only thing is, you won't know which of those moments was important, until after it's passed. Don't you hate that? You should if you don't already.
How many moments do you get in a lifetime anyways? My own guess, about 5 that really matter. Hey, if you have to count it with more than one hand, it probably ain't worth counting in the first place (that's quotable, so I'm going to have to copyright that, (c) 2005 Wang Enterprises, all rights reserved).
Why'd I say 5? Because I've already had maybe 3 of them, and I don't think I can expect that many more in the future. The weird thing is, they happen when you don't expect them. It's not as if, you were standing at the altar and you suddenly had this "moment" when you realize you shouldn't get married. No, life only works that way in the movies.
I had a moment in Barnes & Noble the other day. I was standing in front of the Mathematics section, which was really only one bookcase, which was a shame, since most of that one bookcase was taken up by Calculus for Dummies and Arithmetic Refresher, and the like. I had stumbled upon this book, called On Numbers and Games, or ONAG as the mathematically-inclined community refers to it (who makes up that community, we don't know, but I hear they throw the worst parties). Partly because I'm still desperately searching for an Extended Essay topic, and partly because you can only stare at the cute girl at the help desk for so long, I started flipping through this book.
You know that feeling when you're watching a basketball game, and you see this amazing dunk, and you're thinking, "man, I wish I could do that" ? Well, it was something like that, except instead of wishing I could dunk (and I can, on an 8-ft basket), I wished I could understand that book. Because this was by far the most difficult book of mathematics I had ever taken the time to read. After about 3 pages, I came to the following conclusions:
1) I should purify myself before ever defiling this book again with my dirty, IQ-less-than-200 hands.
2) There's so much more math out there than even I had any idea of (and I thought I knew a good deal to begin with).
3) I regret not being more cool, mathematically speaking.
Because the thing was, not how hard or impossible the math was, no it was the ease with which the author wrote. Thinking abstractly, defining new ideas, and exploring the properties of "surreal" numbers, he did it all so smoothly, so naturally. And that was just so amazing, to me. Here I was trying to bulldoze my way through this book on a subject I had never really thought or heard anything about, and the guy writing it went through everything like he was driving a Ferrari through the roads in my brain.
And then I had my moment. I looked up for no reason, still mentally reeling from trying feebly to understand why and what this book was about, and I sort of look around the entire bookstore. And at that exact instant in time, I suddenly reazlied the overwhelming amount of human knowledge stored within just that one bookstore. Think about it, if you can spare a moment. Every single piece of great Western literature, every single textbook for every field of scientific endeavor that man has ever ventured into, every single comic book even, put them all together, and it's incredible to think how much thought, how much time, how many ideas, and how much experience is contained in that one bookstore.
This even eclipses my own records for lame posts, doesn't it?
God I wish I could write.
Oh, wait, scratch that. I'd rather wish that I could have the time, energy, and courage to do everything. Yes, Everything.
------
"And what's first on that list of things to do?"
"Asking you out on a date of course."
"Oh really? Where are we going?"
"You know what, you decide!"
"Real smooth."
"Hey, if it were up to me, we'd be going to a planetarium."
"Right, good idea letting me choose."
How many moments do you get in a lifetime anyways? My own guess, about 5 that really matter. Hey, if you have to count it with more than one hand, it probably ain't worth counting in the first place (that's quotable, so I'm going to have to copyright that, (c) 2005 Wang Enterprises, all rights reserved).
Why'd I say 5? Because I've already had maybe 3 of them, and I don't think I can expect that many more in the future. The weird thing is, they happen when you don't expect them. It's not as if, you were standing at the altar and you suddenly had this "moment" when you realize you shouldn't get married. No, life only works that way in the movies.
I had a moment in Barnes & Noble the other day. I was standing in front of the Mathematics section, which was really only one bookcase, which was a shame, since most of that one bookcase was taken up by Calculus for Dummies and Arithmetic Refresher, and the like. I had stumbled upon this book, called On Numbers and Games, or ONAG as the mathematically-inclined community refers to it (who makes up that community, we don't know, but I hear they throw the worst parties). Partly because I'm still desperately searching for an Extended Essay topic, and partly because you can only stare at the cute girl at the help desk for so long, I started flipping through this book.
You know that feeling when you're watching a basketball game, and you see this amazing dunk, and you're thinking, "man, I wish I could do that" ? Well, it was something like that, except instead of wishing I could dunk (and I can, on an 8-ft basket), I wished I could understand that book. Because this was by far the most difficult book of mathematics I had ever taken the time to read. After about 3 pages, I came to the following conclusions:
1) I should purify myself before ever defiling this book again with my dirty, IQ-less-than-200 hands.
2) There's so much more math out there than even I had any idea of (and I thought I knew a good deal to begin with).
3) I regret not being more cool, mathematically speaking.
Because the thing was, not how hard or impossible the math was, no it was the ease with which the author wrote. Thinking abstractly, defining new ideas, and exploring the properties of "surreal" numbers, he did it all so smoothly, so naturally. And that was just so amazing, to me. Here I was trying to bulldoze my way through this book on a subject I had never really thought or heard anything about, and the guy writing it went through everything like he was driving a Ferrari through the roads in my brain.
And then I had my moment. I looked up for no reason, still mentally reeling from trying feebly to understand why and what this book was about, and I sort of look around the entire bookstore. And at that exact instant in time, I suddenly reazlied the overwhelming amount of human knowledge stored within just that one bookstore. Think about it, if you can spare a moment. Every single piece of great Western literature, every single textbook for every field of scientific endeavor that man has ever ventured into, every single comic book even, put them all together, and it's incredible to think how much thought, how much time, how many ideas, and how much experience is contained in that one bookstore.
This even eclipses my own records for lame posts, doesn't it?
God I wish I could write.
Oh, wait, scratch that. I'd rather wish that I could have the time, energy, and courage to do everything. Yes, Everything.
------
"And what's first on that list of things to do?"
"Asking you out on a date of course."
"Oh really? Where are we going?"
"You know what, you decide!"
"Real smooth."
"Hey, if it were up to me, we'd be going to a planetarium."
"Right, good idea letting me choose."
Friday, May 20, 2005
Glad To Know I Have Friends Like You
JLuva45: see star wars yet?
JLuva45: lol
FreshPokerOrange: no
FreshPokerOrange: ass
FreshPokerOrange: and now no one will go with me
JLuva45: i'll see it with you this weekend
FreshPokerOrange: i'm like the fat girl before prom
JLuva45: not tomorrow, but maybe sunday or monday
FreshPokerOrange: NO ONE WILL HAVE ME
JLuva45: i'll tell you what day i'm free
JLuva45: lol
JLuva45: i'll have you
Why do we have the greatest conversations in all of IM history? Keep reading.
JLuva45: cuz you're a fruit
FreshPokerOrange: your fucked up you know that
JLuva45: FRUIT
JLuva45: FRUIT!!!!!!!!!
FreshPokerOrange: if i were one fruit
FreshPokerOrange: i'd be
JLuva45: gay
JLuva45: OH YOU SAID IT
JLuva45: lol
FreshPokerOrange: starfruit
FreshPokerOrange: cuz star wars
Wait wait, don't tell me (sue me NPR, just try it), the best is yet to come (yeah, you too Tony Bennett).
JLuva45: funny, I was cutting up starfruit today
FreshPokerOrange: funny
JLuva45: i washed a bunch of it out of a dish
FreshPokerOrange: i was cutting up your mom today
Yeah, maybe you couldn't tell I got too lazy to write a real post. Maybe summer's just sucked out my soul already. Funny how school doesn't do it but summer does.
In fact, if you're looking to find some authentic Wang-flavored blog, check out this thingy. Oh wait, that was poker, you probably don't want that.
JLuva45: lol
FreshPokerOrange: no
FreshPokerOrange: ass
FreshPokerOrange: and now no one will go with me
JLuva45: i'll see it with you this weekend
FreshPokerOrange: i'm like the fat girl before prom
JLuva45: not tomorrow, but maybe sunday or monday
FreshPokerOrange: NO ONE WILL HAVE ME
JLuva45: i'll tell you what day i'm free
JLuva45: lol
JLuva45: i'll have you
Why do we have the greatest conversations in all of IM history? Keep reading.
JLuva45: cuz you're a fruit
FreshPokerOrange: your fucked up you know that
JLuva45: FRUIT
JLuva45: FRUIT!!!!!!!!!
FreshPokerOrange: if i were one fruit
FreshPokerOrange: i'd be
JLuva45: gay
JLuva45: OH YOU SAID IT
JLuva45: lol
FreshPokerOrange: starfruit
FreshPokerOrange: cuz star wars
Wait wait, don't tell me (sue me NPR, just try it), the best is yet to come (yeah, you too Tony Bennett).
JLuva45: funny, I was cutting up starfruit today
FreshPokerOrange: funny
JLuva45: i washed a bunch of it out of a dish
FreshPokerOrange: i was cutting up your mom today
Yeah, maybe you couldn't tell I got too lazy to write a real post. Maybe summer's just sucked out my soul already. Funny how school doesn't do it but summer does.
In fact, if you're looking to find some authentic Wang-flavored blog, check out this thingy. Oh wait, that was poker, you probably don't want that.
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Darnation
Why did people start using the word darn? Because the "r" and the "n" when put together (rn) can pass for an "m."
"You have the stupidest ideas, ever."
"At least I have ideas."
"Oh wow, great comeback."
"Someone's panties are all in a bunch."
"Shut up, it can happen to anyone."
"Never happened to me."
"Remember that time when-"
"We agreed never to speak of that. Ever."
"You have the stupidest ideas, ever."
"At least I have ideas."
"Oh wow, great comeback."
"Someone's panties are all in a bunch."
"Shut up, it can happen to anyone."
"Never happened to me."
"Remember that time when-"
"We agreed never to speak of that. Ever."
Monday, May 16, 2005
Blog Neglect, A Felony?
I may very well have to neglect this a little. I have so much time on my hands that I don't have enough time to do anything. All I have time for is sitting around staring at my computer sreen contemplating how much time I have to do things. Does it make sense? No. Does it have to? No.
"So, what are you doing this summer Cody?"
"Well, I may or may not be going back to China for a month, I may or may not take 2 classes online at Florida Virtual School, I may or may not settle down and really truly write something: a play, a short story, a script for a movie, whatever, I may or may not be involved in the shooting of Joey's movie, I may or may not find/host poker games several times a week, and that's about it."
"That's a lot of maybe's."
"I'm an undecided guy."
"You think that's a good thing?"
"I think that's part of the reason why you hang out with me."
"I hang out with you because you're the most 'Cody-Wang'-like person I know."
"Wow, that means a lot to me, thanks."
"Watch it buddy, or I'll have to smack that sarcasm out of your system."
"And what gives you the right to do that?"
"It comes with the territory of this relationship."
"Just what is the proper name for our relationship anyways?"
"I believe they call it, 'undecided.' "
"Touché."
"So, what are you doing this summer Cody?"
"Well, I may or may not be going back to China for a month, I may or may not take 2 classes online at Florida Virtual School, I may or may not settle down and really truly write something: a play, a short story, a script for a movie, whatever, I may or may not be involved in the shooting of Joey's movie, I may or may not find/host poker games several times a week, and that's about it."
"That's a lot of maybe's."
"I'm an undecided guy."
"You think that's a good thing?"
"I think that's part of the reason why you hang out with me."
"I hang out with you because you're the most 'Cody-Wang'-like person I know."
"Wow, that means a lot to me, thanks."
"Watch it buddy, or I'll have to smack that sarcasm out of your system."
"And what gives you the right to do that?"
"It comes with the territory of this relationship."
"Just what is the proper name for our relationship anyways?"
"I believe they call it, 'undecided.' "
"Touché."
Sunday, May 15, 2005
It's Not So Much That I Lied...
... as it is Joey being unreliable in being a person to go see movies with. Instead, being incredibly bored on Friday night, I just drove up to his house and chilled. X-Men 2 was on, and after that we drove around for a while. It's sad when your buddy's SUV can outaccelerate your little Japanese sedan. Oh well. I made up for it by doing the fastest pull-out ever from his driveway (it's hard flooring it in reverse and having to avoid mailboxes at the same time, at night, when it's dark, because Chinese eyes don't allow me to see well in the dark, just kidding, now time to end this long parenthetical).
Then, being the only legal driver not named Joey's mother, I had to drive our asses down to the movies (who knew?) to pick up Joey's kid brother. On the way, we happened to drive by a Wendy's, and lo' and behold, this was the FREE FROSTY WEEKEEND! Needless to say, we did laps around the drive thru, and I actually ducked so the woman working there would not recognize me. Later I was informed that this was stupid.
What I didn't get about that was why I had to drive up and down East Lake Road, passing my house twice, before I actually went home...
Highlight of evening:
"Joey, you think I can make this right turn without braking?"
"Yeah sure."
(cruising at about 35 mph)
...
::tires screeching::
"HOLY MOTHERFUCK, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE REALLY GOING TO DO IT YOU CHINESE FUCK!!!"
(Joey's kid brother Robbie) "Dood, I smell rubber."
"Did my hubcaps just touch the asphalt?"
Then, being the only legal driver not named Joey's mother, I had to drive our asses down to the movies (who knew?) to pick up Joey's kid brother. On the way, we happened to drive by a Wendy's, and lo' and behold, this was the FREE FROSTY WEEKEEND! Needless to say, we did laps around the drive thru, and I actually ducked so the woman working there would not recognize me. Later I was informed that this was stupid.
What I didn't get about that was why I had to drive up and down East Lake Road, passing my house twice, before I actually went home...
Highlight of evening:
"Joey, you think I can make this right turn without braking?"
"Yeah sure."
(cruising at about 35 mph)
...
::tires screeching::
"HOLY MOTHERFUCK, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE REALLY GOING TO DO IT YOU CHINESE FUCK!!!"
(Joey's kid brother Robbie) "Dood, I smell rubber."
"Did my hubcaps just touch the asphalt?"
Friday, May 13, 2005
Better Than It Looks
Well I'm off in a few minutes to go see Kicking and Screaming, but I thought I'd update this for your viewing pleasure. Viewing pleasure, now there's another phrase that should only apply to pornography. Anyways, the end of school brings the beginning of Mu Alpha Theta duties. This job really involves so much. I didn't have an exact idea how much perhaps, but I think I'm prepared.
Join Mu Alpha Theta, and as a joining bonus, I'll give everyone who mentions my name at the first general meeting next year free poker lessons.
Life is much better than it looks.
So I've decided to stop looking at it.
Have a beautiful summer you beautiful people.
Except you Joey, you're too ugly to have fun this summer.
Join Mu Alpha Theta, and as a joining bonus, I'll give everyone who mentions my name at the first general meeting next year free poker lessons.
Life is much better than it looks.
So I've decided to stop looking at it.
Have a beautiful summer you beautiful people.
Except you Joey, you're too ugly to have fun this summer.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Closing Time
"What are we closing?"
"It's the end of the school year don'tcha know.."
"I know that, but nothing's closing, unless... are they closing the school down?"
"If they are, no one's told me anything about it."
"But no one tells you anything about anything anyways."
"Hey, aren't you supposed to be here to support me, not shoot me down, all crashing and burning?"
"Tough love I call it."
That crazy guy's right though, it is the end of the school year. Personally, this means much more to me than the end of the lousy calendar year. I mean, really in the middle of winter, December 31 to January 1 does not mark the end of anything. It's still winter. There's still school. Life still sucks.
"Does life only suck in winter?"
"Actually I like cold weather."
"So life sucks all the time?"
"You suck all the time."
"You have the maturity of a tree."
"Trees can be old."
"A baby tree then, an ugly, obnoxious, loud baby tree."
"And what does that make you?"
"A Greenpeace crazie."
I think this is really an end though. No school for 2+ months means finally a period without daily obligations (those of you with jobs, just remember that nothing applies to you, you're being sensate and saving up money and all for the future). 2 months to sit back and, not relax, but instead to take a look around you. That's what I'm/I'll be doing. Surveying this existence of mine.
"What for?"
"Everybody needs to have some idea of how their life is going."
"I can tell you about your life."
"Shoot."
"Well, it's not as bad as you might hope. You've got a lot of promise, a lot of potential. You have got a great chance to be somebody important, to change the world, and all the good stuff I'll never do. You can do anything you want, and I don't think you realize just how great a talent that is. I've seen you put your mind to something, I've seen you care enough about something to treat it seriously, and I've seen the results. You can be absolutely amazing at times, and then again, sometimes I just want to punch you in the face."
"Ouch."
"Then there's that sarcasm behind everything. Jesus Christ, just let it go, will ya? You don't think it's cool to be sarcastic do you?"
"I have let it go."
"Oh? Then I apologize, but I couldn't tell."
"It's not so easy changing who you are you know."
"You don't need to change who you are."
"Don't tell me you think I'm perfect the way I am."
"I think you're a thick layer of bullshit surrounding something underneath that could be beautiful, but we'll never know."
"And why would I surround myself with cow feces?"
"Because you don't want anyone to know what's underneath. You're hiding it from everyone, even from me, and I have no idea why. What are you afraid of?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yes."
"I'm afraid there's nothing there, beneath all the bullshit, except more bullshit."
Everything in life boils down to one thing, and one thing only: a willingness to live. You've got to be willing to do certain things, whether or not you want to do them. You've got to be willing to make sacrifices. You've got to be willing to say no. You've got to be even more willing to say yes sometimes, because it's a much harder thing to do. You've got to be fearless sometimes. You've got to turn off the voice in your head that's telling you this will never work, this could only end badly.
Life is a lot like a poker game sometimes, but not right here. In a poker game, you fold as soon as you know you're way too far behind to justify a call. In life, sometimes you can't give up. You might know it's hopeless, but still you've gotta call. Even if you know your opponent's got A-A and that your A-K is no good, in the poker game of life, sometimes you've gotta call the big reraise anyways.
Just close your eyes, hold your breath, and pray for the Q-J-10.
"It's the end of the school year don'tcha know.."
"I know that, but nothing's closing, unless... are they closing the school down?"
"If they are, no one's told me anything about it."
"But no one tells you anything about anything anyways."
"Hey, aren't you supposed to be here to support me, not shoot me down, all crashing and burning?"
"Tough love I call it."
That crazy guy's right though, it is the end of the school year. Personally, this means much more to me than the end of the lousy calendar year. I mean, really in the middle of winter, December 31 to January 1 does not mark the end of anything. It's still winter. There's still school. Life still sucks.
"Does life only suck in winter?"
"Actually I like cold weather."
"So life sucks all the time?"
"You suck all the time."
"You have the maturity of a tree."
"Trees can be old."
"A baby tree then, an ugly, obnoxious, loud baby tree."
"And what does that make you?"
"A Greenpeace crazie."
I think this is really an end though. No school for 2+ months means finally a period without daily obligations (those of you with jobs, just remember that nothing applies to you, you're being sensate and saving up money and all for the future). 2 months to sit back and, not relax, but instead to take a look around you. That's what I'm/I'll be doing. Surveying this existence of mine.
"What for?"
"Everybody needs to have some idea of how their life is going."
"I can tell you about your life."
"Shoot."
"Well, it's not as bad as you might hope. You've got a lot of promise, a lot of potential. You have got a great chance to be somebody important, to change the world, and all the good stuff I'll never do. You can do anything you want, and I don't think you realize just how great a talent that is. I've seen you put your mind to something, I've seen you care enough about something to treat it seriously, and I've seen the results. You can be absolutely amazing at times, and then again, sometimes I just want to punch you in the face."
"Ouch."
"Then there's that sarcasm behind everything. Jesus Christ, just let it go, will ya? You don't think it's cool to be sarcastic do you?"
"I have let it go."
"Oh? Then I apologize, but I couldn't tell."
"It's not so easy changing who you are you know."
"You don't need to change who you are."
"Don't tell me you think I'm perfect the way I am."
"I think you're a thick layer of bullshit surrounding something underneath that could be beautiful, but we'll never know."
"And why would I surround myself with cow feces?"
"Because you don't want anyone to know what's underneath. You're hiding it from everyone, even from me, and I have no idea why. What are you afraid of?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yes."
"I'm afraid there's nothing there, beneath all the bullshit, except more bullshit."
Everything in life boils down to one thing, and one thing only: a willingness to live. You've got to be willing to do certain things, whether or not you want to do them. You've got to be willing to make sacrifices. You've got to be willing to say no. You've got to be even more willing to say yes sometimes, because it's a much harder thing to do. You've got to be fearless sometimes. You've got to turn off the voice in your head that's telling you this will never work, this could only end badly.
Life is a lot like a poker game sometimes, but not right here. In a poker game, you fold as soon as you know you're way too far behind to justify a call. In life, sometimes you can't give up. You might know it's hopeless, but still you've gotta call. Even if you know your opponent's got A-A and that your A-K is no good, in the poker game of life, sometimes you've gotta call the big reraise anyways.
Just close your eyes, hold your breath, and pray for the Q-J-10.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
It's Been A While
"It's been a while since what?"
"Since I've had an honest conversation with someone."
"Cuz you're always lying to people?"
"Do I do that?"
"How do you expect me to be able to tell?"
"Hmm, good point."
"So what is it then?"
"Huh?"
"Why has it been a while since you've had an honest conversation with someone?"
"That was a mouthful."
"Answer me."
"Why?"
"You pointed it out in the first place."
"Technically, you asked me first."
"Oh shut up."
"Ok."
What is there to talk about? It's the end of the school year, just about. Final exams don't matter. Extended Essays don't matter. CAS hours don't matter.
"Does anything matter?"
"Sure. "
"Like what?"
"I dunno."
And who is it that I'm always talking to in these conversations anyways? Who is it that I'm picturing in my mind I should be having these conversations with?
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Well who am I, ya big dummy?"
"Well you tell me."
"I'm hurt."
"Because I don't know who you are?"
"No, because you won't admit that you want it to be me."
"I do admit that."
"Then what are we sitting around here for?"
"I dunno. You wanna go somewhere?"
"Definitely, I hear they say now's a great time to visit somewhere."
"You're so clever."
"You know you love me."
"I do, do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Know that I love you."
"Since I've had an honest conversation with someone."
"Cuz you're always lying to people?"
"Do I do that?"
"How do you expect me to be able to tell?"
"Hmm, good point."
"So what is it then?"
"Huh?"
"Why has it been a while since you've had an honest conversation with someone?"
"That was a mouthful."
"Answer me."
"Why?"
"You pointed it out in the first place."
"Technically, you asked me first."
"Oh shut up."
"Ok."
What is there to talk about? It's the end of the school year, just about. Final exams don't matter. Extended Essays don't matter. CAS hours don't matter.
"Does anything matter?"
"Sure. "
"Like what?"
"I dunno."
And who is it that I'm always talking to in these conversations anyways? Who is it that I'm picturing in my mind I should be having these conversations with?
"Well?"
"Well what?"
"Well who am I, ya big dummy?"
"Well you tell me."
"I'm hurt."
"Because I don't know who you are?"
"No, because you won't admit that you want it to be me."
"I do admit that."
"Then what are we sitting around here for?"
"I dunno. You wanna go somewhere?"
"Definitely, I hear they say now's a great time to visit somewhere."
"You're so clever."
"You know you love me."
"I do, do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Know that I love you."
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Fastest Post Ever
Bedtime, which means I should blog right now. Man, I never do things on time or better yet, ahead of time. Gosh, what a concept, doing things before you actually are forced to do them. Boy, I could make millions off that idea.
Sincerely,
The quickest blogger this side of the Mississippi...
Sincerely,
The quickest blogger this side of the Mississippi...
Sunday, May 08, 2005
3:14
Starting this post at 3:14 PM, I know something must be up. 3-1-4, are not only those ubiquitously memorable digts, but that P in PM could stand for nothing else but... PI.
u·biq·ui·tous
P Pronunciation Key (y
-b
k
w-t
s)
adj.
But Lord knows that I'm not you
and if I was I wouldn't be so cruel
cause waitin' on love ain't so easy to do
Criticize my taste in music, I dare you.
I didn't think so.
(or, if you did happen to criticize my taste in music right there, and we all know who this would be, than let's all remember that we're all entitled to our own opinions, and that your opinions are stupid)
Need to read things, and 3 final exams I need A's on. Not complainingly mentioning this to you, only just wishing I would have gotten one more A in each class for some of those six weeks where I did nothing.
"Did nothing but what?"
"No no my level-headed friend, just plumb did nothing."
"Well that was dumb."
"You're dumb."
"And who's fault is that?"
"Touché."
Curtain's going up, you ready for the show?
u·biq·ui·tous
P Pronunciation Key (y-bkw-ts)adj.
- Being or seeming to be everywhere at the same time; omnipresent: “plodded through the shadows fruitlessly like an ubiquitous spook” (Joseph Heller).
But Lord knows that I'm not you
and if I was I wouldn't be so cruel
cause waitin' on love ain't so easy to do
Criticize my taste in music, I dare you.
I didn't think so.
(or, if you did happen to criticize my taste in music right there, and we all know who this would be, than let's all remember that we're all entitled to our own opinions, and that your opinions are stupid)
Need to read things, and 3 final exams I need A's on. Not complainingly mentioning this to you, only just wishing I would have gotten one more A in each class for some of those six weeks where I did nothing.
"Did nothing but what?"
"No no my level-headed friend, just plumb did nothing."
"Well that was dumb."
"You're dumb."
"And who's fault is that?"
"Touché."
Curtain's going up, you ready for the show?
Thursday, May 05, 2005
Twice in One Week
"What? What did you do twice in one week? Get laid?"
"You wish."
"Five some AP exams?"
"Five is not a verb."
"Did you wear the same pair of underwear? Did you lose your wallet? Did aliens probe your anus?"
"I saw Hitchiker's Guide twice."
"You suck."
"Your mom sucks."
:: cricket ::
(hmm, I wonder if that cricket ever gets tired? I should probably pay him more)
"You wish."
"Five some AP exams?"
"Five is not a verb."
"Did you wear the same pair of underwear? Did you lose your wallet? Did aliens probe your anus?"
"I saw Hitchiker's Guide twice."
"You suck."
"Your mom sucks."
:: cricket ::
(hmm, I wonder if that cricket ever gets tired? I should probably pay him more)
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Best Part of My Day
... is blogging. Seriously folks, shoot me for saying it, but I really enjoy this. Am I a writer at heart? Nahhh... I don't think I'm anything at heart. I think I have a variety of interests that I like to indulge, but I don't think any one activity defines me. Part of me is a writer for sure, but that's not the only thing I am.
Gosh, if I had to choose one thing that I would have to do for the rest of my life, I don't know what I'd do. Oh wait, I do have to choose.
Damn you life. Damn you for making me have to give up things. Damn you for giving me choices that I don't want to have to make. Damn you, damn you, damn you...
Damn those ellipses too.
Bah, choice is an illusion as a certain character from a certain bad sequel to a certain awesome nerd-flick once said. Of course, some philosopher dood said it for real a long time ago, but what do I know? My philosophy comes only from what I see in movies nowadays. I can't think for myself. Thank Ford I don't have to.
-------------------------
Three final exams to take. Three A's I need. You however, either A) don't care, or B) think that I can do it so easily anyways that you don't need to care.
Man, doesn't it suck when the whole world doesn't allow you to think that things are hard?
"Oh man, I really need to study for this English quiz. I never read the book."
"Shut up Cody, you're already going to Harvard anyways."
:: cricket ::
Or, my personal favorite:
"So Cody, how was your Calc BC exam?"
"Well, it was tougher than I thought it was going to be, I skipped 4 multiple choice and part of two free - "
"Shut up, you suck, you, you 5 person you!"
:: cricket ::
Gosh, if I had to choose one thing that I would have to do for the rest of my life, I don't know what I'd do. Oh wait, I do have to choose.
Damn you life. Damn you for making me have to give up things. Damn you for giving me choices that I don't want to have to make. Damn you, damn you, damn you...
Damn those ellipses too.
Bah, choice is an illusion as a certain character from a certain bad sequel to a certain awesome nerd-flick once said. Of course, some philosopher dood said it for real a long time ago, but what do I know? My philosophy comes only from what I see in movies nowadays. I can't think for myself. Thank Ford I don't have to.
-------------------------
Three final exams to take. Three A's I need. You however, either A) don't care, or B) think that I can do it so easily anyways that you don't need to care.
Man, doesn't it suck when the whole world doesn't allow you to think that things are hard?
"Oh man, I really need to study for this English quiz. I never read the book."
"Shut up Cody, you're already going to Harvard anyways."
:: cricket ::
Or, my personal favorite:
"So Cody, how was your Calc BC exam?"
"Well, it was tougher than I thought it was going to be, I skipped 4 multiple choice and part of two free - "
"Shut up, you suck, you, you 5 person you!"
:: cricket ::
Monday, May 02, 2005
Hard For Me, Not For You
In preparing for my AP exams, one thing that's struck me is the concept of difficulty. For most people (myself included), AP exams are hard. Not like the infinitely many French quizes I've endured which I can pass after only having read the passage in question one period before for about 20 minutes. AP exams, are not like that. Ideally, one should already know the material to be tested thoroughly, and only have to review and refresh a little bit before each test.
Being the IB kids that we are, this is not the case. Hence the cram sessions, the nerves, the stress, and the incredible sense of relief once it's all over. Like what God must feel after He takes His AP exams. I'm sorry; forgive the lame, obscure Simpsons reference.
However, I find that I am unable to join in your misery. I'm not stressed about AP exams, I really am not. I can't pretend to be either, just to "fit in." And it's not because I'm so insanely confident that I'll do well on everything. What's different for me is that I know I will do as well as I should, I will get the grade that I deserve based on the amount of effort I put into a class and based on my ability to reason, and hence there is no reason to worry about passing or failing. If I fail an exam, then I deserve it, and there's no point stressing about it. I'm sorry I'm so relaxed, I'm sorry I can't help you much, I'm sorry I don't feel as screwed as you. I don't feel screwed at all. Life can't screw me; I'm the only one that can screw things up for myself.
Go away Fates, you are not needed here.
What's hard for one person might not be hard for another. Some people have a hard time tying their shoelaces. Some people have a hard time breathing. Some people have a hard time solving the mysteries of the universe. Some people have a hard time asking a pretty girl out on a date. Some people have a hard time keeping pretty girls away from them.
Still, when the 40 year-old man with Down syndrome living in his parents' basement is finally able to move out and get a job and live on his own, you have to applaud that. You are happy and proud of that man not because you are condescending, but because he is doing something which is personally difficult for him. And when Stephen Hawking creates a new theory to explain the universe, you applaud not because you are so incredibly awed by him, but because he is doing something which is hard for him. These two men deserve the same recognition and the same respect. Of course, Stephen Hawking may win a Nobel prize for what he does, while the man with Down syndrome may win nothing more than a tearful smile from his proud parents and friends. And yet, they both have earned something, and the differences between them are only superficial.
You do what you can, and I'll do what I can.
--------------------
In other news, we wish a belated one month anniversary to... us.
Indeed, it has been a month. Folks, I've got a month's worth of writing under my belt now. Go Blogger!
Joey, you're like that guy on the Titanic who kept saying to himself, "It's just a scratch, I'm sure that water that's rising up to my knees is perfectly normal."
Thanks for commenting so much, bitchface.
Being the IB kids that we are, this is not the case. Hence the cram sessions, the nerves, the stress, and the incredible sense of relief once it's all over. Like what God must feel after He takes His AP exams. I'm sorry; forgive the lame, obscure Simpsons reference.
However, I find that I am unable to join in your misery. I'm not stressed about AP exams, I really am not. I can't pretend to be either, just to "fit in." And it's not because I'm so insanely confident that I'll do well on everything. What's different for me is that I know I will do as well as I should, I will get the grade that I deserve based on the amount of effort I put into a class and based on my ability to reason, and hence there is no reason to worry about passing or failing. If I fail an exam, then I deserve it, and there's no point stressing about it. I'm sorry I'm so relaxed, I'm sorry I can't help you much, I'm sorry I don't feel as screwed as you. I don't feel screwed at all. Life can't screw me; I'm the only one that can screw things up for myself.
Go away Fates, you are not needed here.
What's hard for one person might not be hard for another. Some people have a hard time tying their shoelaces. Some people have a hard time breathing. Some people have a hard time solving the mysteries of the universe. Some people have a hard time asking a pretty girl out on a date. Some people have a hard time keeping pretty girls away from them.
Still, when the 40 year-old man with Down syndrome living in his parents' basement is finally able to move out and get a job and live on his own, you have to applaud that. You are happy and proud of that man not because you are condescending, but because he is doing something which is personally difficult for him. And when Stephen Hawking creates a new theory to explain the universe, you applaud not because you are so incredibly awed by him, but because he is doing something which is hard for him. These two men deserve the same recognition and the same respect. Of course, Stephen Hawking may win a Nobel prize for what he does, while the man with Down syndrome may win nothing more than a tearful smile from his proud parents and friends. And yet, they both have earned something, and the differences between them are only superficial.
You do what you can, and I'll do what I can.
--------------------
In other news, we wish a belated one month anniversary to... us.
Indeed, it has been a month. Folks, I've got a month's worth of writing under my belt now. Go Blogger!
Joey, you're like that guy on the Titanic who kept saying to himself, "It's just a scratch, I'm sure that water that's rising up to my knees is perfectly normal."
Thanks for commenting so much, bitchface.
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Will You Be My Friend?
How did I do it, back in kindergarten? I mean, how was I able to make friends back then? Was it some sort of witty persona I put on then that charmed the heck out of the other wet-nosed five-year-olds? Was I just cuter back then? Maybe I smelled better or something. Maybe my pheromones work in reverse now.
Maybe I just didn't notice back then that those other kids weren't really friends, just well-wishing acquaintances with whom I could occasionally enjoy moments of sheer blissfully unaware, youthful fun, and that these acquaintances would never make a lasting impression on my life, nor I on theirs. Maybe that's all a friend is. A condom for human interaction. Use, enjoy, discard.
Maybe they just weren't true friends. It all comes back to truth doesn't it? What's real and what's not, what's right and what's wrong. Really caring and really trying to fool yourself into thinking you care.
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
Whatever it was, verbal communication was obviously not a big issue back then. Heck, how do you expect a five-year-old Chinese boy who knows exactly three phrases in English to use verbal communication to his advantage?
"Hello."
"Hi, what's your name?"
"Thank you."
"Your name's not Thank You. My name is Bobby. Will you be my friend?"
"Hello."
"You talk funny."
"Thank you."
"Wanna play tag?"
"Goodbye."
"You sure you don't want to play tag?"
"Hello."
(runs off to play tag)
Ahh, those were the days...
Maybe I just didn't notice back then that those other kids weren't really friends, just well-wishing acquaintances with whom I could occasionally enjoy moments of sheer blissfully unaware, youthful fun, and that these acquaintances would never make a lasting impression on my life, nor I on theirs. Maybe that's all a friend is. A condom for human interaction. Use, enjoy, discard.
Maybe they just weren't true friends. It all comes back to truth doesn't it? What's real and what's not, what's right and what's wrong. Really caring and really trying to fool yourself into thinking you care.
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off of you
Whatever it was, verbal communication was obviously not a big issue back then. Heck, how do you expect a five-year-old Chinese boy who knows exactly three phrases in English to use verbal communication to his advantage?
"Hello."
"Hi, what's your name?"
"Thank you."
"Your name's not Thank You. My name is Bobby. Will you be my friend?"
"Hello."
"You talk funny."
"Thank you."
"Wanna play tag?"
"Goodbye."
"You sure you don't want to play tag?"
"Hello."
(runs off to play tag)
Ahh, those were the days...
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