Top n Reasons I Suck at Poker

(in no particular order)

1. 4- and 5-betting light/badly against players who can't fold and aren't bluffing when they 3- and 4-bet
2. Calling down with ridiculous hands after 4-betting light and then getting 5-bet
3. Running too many large, multi-street bluffs in raised (and reraised) pots
4. Only winning 50% of all coin-flips
5. Winning 50% of all dominated all-ins
6. Using the word "winning" when I'm not
7. Not varying bet sizes properly for differently-sucky opponents
8. Assuming people are 3- and 4-betting as lightly as you would
9. Not understanding what "weak/tight/passive" actually means
10. Not flopping the nuts often enough
11. Not coolering opponents often enough
12. Getting coolered more than enough
13. Calling too often on turn and river/not folding enough, since raising is dumbtarded
14. Bad karma
...
15. Getting runner-runnered by A2o on an A-9-5 flop holding 99.
16. Getting bored with money.
...

(to be continued)