Don't understand the title? Then this post is for you. Today, master of human social interactions, your very own Cdoy Wang (I go by Cdoy now, thanks Channing!), will teach the secrets to making friends, keeping friends, and basically enjoying the heck out of life.
The first step is admitting to yourself that you have a problem. Say it with me now, "I Have No Friends." Repeat 6 or 7 times, until you can feel your self-confidence bleeding out your ears.
Step 2. Determine what kind of people are on your level of social... coolness. Do not try to make friends with the captain of the football team, unless you are the captain of the football team. In which case, if you're having problems making friends with yourself, then I'm not the kind of guy you need to see.
Step 3. Now you're ready to actually go out and meet some people. Start with simple interactions. Tell that cute girl in 3rd period that you can read the washing instructions on her Victoria's Secret thong from 5 desks away. If she doesn't fall in love with you instantly, move on, she's a dead one.
Step 4. Hopefully by now, you've made some real friends. How can you tell if someone is genuinely a friend though? Simple. I call it the, "insult someone like crazy then see if he or she still talks to you" test. Observe:
JLuva45: I wanna have this done by 9
JLuva45: so I'm gonna try and work now
FreshPokerOrange: best of luck bitchface
Now, we'll just wait until the "friend" in question eggs your house. Good luck, and happy friend making!
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